Like
the Coyote and Road Runner, the CIA was obsessively trying to kill Fidel Castro
in the 1960s. But like Coyote, they just couldn't seem to do it. Was it because
Castro was so wiley … or because the CIA was so incompetent? Here are some
examples of how the anti-Castro super spies spent their time (and our money).
CONCOCTING WEIRD PLOTS
Seven plots against Castro that the CIA actually considered.
1. Use agents in Cuba to spread rumors that the second coming of Christ is
imminent and that Castro is the anti-Christ.
2. Surprise him at the beach with an exploding conch shell.
3. Put thallium salts in his shoes or cigars during an appearance on "The
David Susskind show," to make his beard and hair fall out.
4. Put itching powder in his scuba suit and LSD in his mouthpiece so he would
be driven crazy and drown
5. Offer him exploding cigars designed to blow his head off.
6. Shoot him with a TV camera that has a machine gun inside.
7. Spray his broadcasting studio with hallucinogens.
EMBARGOING BASEBALLS
In its war against Fidel Castro during the 1960s, the CIA literally tried to
play hardball politics. "The CIA tried to cut off the supply of baseballs to
Cuba. Agents persuaded suppliers in other countries not ship them. (U.S.
baseballs were already banned by the trade embargo the U.S. had declared.)" The
bizarre embargo was effective. Some balls got through, "but the supply was so
limited that the government had to ask fans to throw foul balls and home runs
back onto the field for continued play.
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